Whenever I go out to the chicken coop, I have to do certain things.
- I prepare some sort of treat for them to distract them from attacking me when I get their feed. I have to go IN the coop to get their feed, and they are CRAZY CHICKENS.
- I put my chicken hat on. My chicken hat is a hat that covers my ears so they don’t eat my earrings. (Before you ask “why don’t you just take your earrings out,” let me tell you THIS. It takes way too much time to take them off and put them back on, and technically I’m not even supposed to take them out for that long. So there.)
- I prepare my *british accent* attire. I now use closed-toe shoes (I’ve had an… experience with open-toe shoes.), I can wear shorts as long as I don’t get anything like bedding or chicken poop on them, because they think, “Hey, look at this! We gotta raid her to get this thing off of her!”
- I walk down to the coop and prepare to be ATTACKED!
- Usually, I talk to them through the window first. “Buh? Buh duh!” *proud at learning to speak chicken (hello Charlie :P)*
- I open latches and listen to the “mystery clucks” of the chickens before I open the door. They hear me out there. They all crowd around the door, waiting for me to open it. “Cluck?” Cashew asks. (hello Charlie :P)
- I prepare for the attack one last time, take a deep breath, and open the door. Instantly, I start pushing the chickens away from the door. “SCREE!” Ethel warns.
- I throw the treats towards the back of the coop. The girls run over to them, seeing what’s there.
- While I have time, I jump into the coop and grab their food. I jump out, shutting the door, and fill their feed.
- I open the door to put their food in. I let them crowd around it, pecking it. If they’re all eating, they won’t do any harm to me. Then, I put their food on the chain and let them eat.
- I shut the door, take my hat off. I don’t like wearing the hat in summer. I walk back to the house and wash my hands.
That is the end of my chicken routine. See ya,